I always imagined my life would be like a great book translated to the screen by the worlds greatest director. It would have a soundtrack by Clint Mansell, Voice overs by Marc Silk, and the most amazing twist at the climax where I live happily ever after in a farmhouse in the country after discovering a million pounds in a suitcase or some other Deux ex Machina worthy of Russell T. Davis (that might perhaps include a flying car along with the suitcase full of money).
Instead it seems to have been scripted by Alan Bennett, soundtrack byPop Will Eat Itself, with voice overs by Stuart Hall (who has either seen the referee fall over a small dog, or a man dressed as a small dog fall over a referee, the two are interchangeable.) and I’m pretty sure the climax will involve a custard pie to the face.
Still it could be worse at one point looked like it would be soundtracked by Stuart Hall, voice overed by Alan Bennett with a Deux ex Machina that comes via my copy of the original blue covered The Eight Legged Atomic Dustbin Will Eat Itself